Searching for the Sun

Searching For the Sun

It’s been raining for weeks here in Dallas. No, months.

In fact, I just read that in the month of May alone, we’ve had seventeen inches of rain.

And boy, does it feel like it. 

I’m not one for rain to begin with, but rain as a stay-at-home Mom? That’s a special kind of hell. Let me tell you.

There were days I thought I was going crazy. 

And not only has it rained outside, it’s also seemed to rain in my life. Everywhere it possibly could.

I’ve been trying to keep my head above water both literally and figuratively.

I met with a friend a while back, and as I told her about my past few weeks, I lamented about the rain. 

I told her that THIS RAIN, it was affecting me. And not only has it affected my day-to-day routines with the boys, but my mood as well. I wondered how much longer I could take it. I wondered if things would’ve been so rough if the sun had been shining. Probably not. Most definitely not. Maybe I needed a sunlamp. Isn’t that a thing? Are there vitamins for this? I just wish I could see the sun. I need it in my life, I need it to be “me”. I JUST NEED THE SUN, DANGIT!

And then she said it.

You know, Alli, it’s always there. Even if you can’t see it. 

It was one of those “well, crap” moments.

I knew she was right, the second I heard it. And in more ways than one. 

I sat there, surveying these last few weeks, replaying almost instantly the cloudy days in my mind. 

It was there. All along. 

In tickle fights, and family get-togethers. In laughter fits and “leftovers night”. In date night adventures and kissing smushy little cheeks. In learning first words, and jumping in muddy puddles. In wine after bedtime, and hot bubble bath escapes. 

And in little faces. Little smiles and little cries. Little hugs and little goodnights. 

But I was fixated. Fixated on the rain in my life. And because of that, I’d missed the sun…and so much more.

If only I’d been looking through the clouds…I’d have seen that it was there. Shining as brightly as ever.

I committed, in that moment, to do my best to search for the sun every day. And I’m proud to say I’ve seen it ever since.

Even when it’s raining.

In fact, that’s when I see it the most…

Because the harder you have to look, the more of it you see.

True Story.

Such an important lesson.

And one I’ll never forget. Come Rain…

Or shine.


3 Responses to “Searching for the Sun”

  1. Kristi

    Lovely and timely information for us all! Thank you!

  2. Jana Rentzel

    Hi Alli,
    I found your wonderful blog after reading your “Thankful Jar” post in our HPUMC newsletter. What a beautiful lady you are and it shows in ALL that you do. Thank you for sharing your bright and radiant joy!!!